Learning
to be Grateful for the Good Fortune of Others
Part 2
Stop
Comparing
Enjoy your own life
without comparing it with that of another. Condorcet,
1743-1794
Do not judge according
to appearance,
but judge with righteous judgment.
John 7:24
If you wish to change
your thinking, to replace the thought process of lack
and jealousy with the pattern of plenty and love, the
first step is to stop comparing your life with what
you perceive to be the lives of others. Comparing keeps
you off-balance, and you need to regain your balance
in order to live a life based in love.
Make no mistake: when
you compare your life, your family, your possessions,
your person or personality to that of another person,
you are making a judgment. You make a judgment, which
becomes the basis of your comparison.
You drive through a neighborhood
of bigger homes and nicer cars, and you imagine the
people who live there are happier than you. You see
a glittering, polished celebrity on a talk show, and
imagine how great it would be to be them. If only you
were as thin as she is, as smart as he is, as comfortable
as they are... somehow your life would be better.
Most of the time others
come out on top, and you feel frustration, anger, disappointment,
or jealousy. Sometimes you come out on top, and you
feel good about that.
In reality, you are making
a judgment based on what you see, not what you
know. You can only ever see the glossy surface.
One of the most financially
successful people I know is also the loneliest. One
of the most powerful is one of the most insecure. One
who lives with daily financial insecurity is one with
the most inner peace. One who is envied for her position
in the political and business community longs for the
simple life of a stay-at-home mom. The truth behind
the scenes would amaze anyone who compares themselves
to these four individuals.
You cannot possibly know
the true lives of those you judge by comparison. You
can only compare based on appearances. Appearances are
deceptive, and you possess neither the knowledge nor
authority to judge another. Comparing yourself to anyone
is founded in error, inaccurate at best, and at worst,
bringing you the negative energy of judgment and criticism
in your own life. Stop doing it.
Take your eyes off of
others, and focus them in three important directions
instead: look up, look within, and look
within arms' reach.
Look up, and give thanks
that you've come this far, consider that you are sustained
in grace, remember that simple things get you through
the day, and most often put a smile on your face.
Look within, and give thanks
that you have the power of choice and the ability
to change the things in your life that cause you pain.
Look within arms' reach and
give thanks for what surrounds you, a roof, health,
food and drink, loved ones. See your family and friends
for what they are: a fleeting opportunity to love
and be loved; we just don't know what tomorrow has
in store... embrace joy today.
Learning to be grateful
for the blessings of others is a huge step in living
a life based in love. The steps in this process are
simple, but challenging: the first is an end to comparison.
The second is seeing your own blessings, and the third
is rejoicing in good.
